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A year-old Mexican man, Roberto Esquivel Cabrera, went viral recently for claiming he has a inch penis. The Huffington Post reported on Saturday :. Ahhh, mon cherie, quel monde merveilleux.

How did two convicted murderers escape from a maximum security prison this weekend? Who is Tillie, and did she betray her husband for a big-dicked con?

Big-ass dicks—huh! What are they good for? Absolutely nothing, according to the true confessions of little-dick enthusiast Monique Anderson.

Well, to each her or his own in matters of dick physics and aesthetics, but she brings up some good points here. That's a shame because he says that he's keeping something ahem big from viewers.

A year-old Florida man, Matthew Magnus, was arrested last week for unleashing his self-described "biggest penis in the world" on a crowd of adults and children several times.

Police found him in his apartment surrounded by dog shit and cocaine. Paris is back, bitches. We were talking about our respective big break ups and were both pretty drunk, so when we both said how nice it would be to have someone to make out with without getting serious we immediately started making out.

One night she came back to my place and it started getting hot and heavy. After we were both nude she told me that she had only been with one guy and that she believed in only having sex with someone you love.

I respected that and went down on her, thinking she would reciprocate, but alas no. Blue balls are a bitch, especially after an awkward hand job.

Several times over the next two months she kept trying to get me to have sex with her and I kept telling her no, at first solely out of respect for her rule but then I started to understand that this girl was falling in love with me.

She never came right out and said it, but she would constantly tell other people she only slept with people she loved and that same night would try to sleep with me.

I really liked her as a person but was way hung up on my ex and still very much in love with her. The night of her 21st birthday I got to the party late.

By the time I got there she had already drunk way more than she usually did and had smoked weed which she never did so she was completely wild.

She made it all of about 45 min with me there before she started puking in the middle of the street, with me holding her hair back.

She said it. There was no more question, my suspicions were right. Not a minute or two after she said this she passed out.

I picked her up and carried her into the house, stripped her down, and put her in a warm bath to clean her up. Once I got her cleaned up I put her in some pajamas I found and put her to bed on an air mattress in a back bedroom.

I figured she was out for the night, so with a heavy heart and a lot on my mind I went out to the party to drink my cares away.

And I fucking had a lot of cares. I was hurting someone I really liked just by being around her. I had to break it off the next day. So I drank like my life depended on it.

Hours later I went to the back bedroom with the air mattress to pass the fuck out. At that point I am not even sure I could remember what happened earlier.

I stripped down I sleep naked and jumped under the sheet. I must have passed out because the next thing I remember is a pair of warm, velvety lips awkwardly giving me a blow job.

I looked down to see the girl, the girl who never gave head, trying her best to give me a blow job and not doing very well at it. Oh my god I was so horny.

Months and months of never cumming once was mixing with the alcohol to make very bad thoughts go through my mind. Now, this girl had told me she had been with one other guy, so maybe I should have thought about that and the fact she might not be used to sex, much less sex with a person of above average size.

I did not think of that. I grabbed her by the hips, went to the hilt on the first thrust, and rode as hard and as fast as I could.

I have no idea how long it lasted…probably not very with months of sexual frustration. Thankfully I had the thought to pull out and I did just in time.

Completely spent, I rolled over on the now flat air mattress. She laid there for maybe a minute or two before she burst into tears and ran from the room.

I think I passed out right as she left the room. With all the drinking I slept like a log until the next morning.

I woke up and looked over to see her laying next to me with her eyes wide open. I remembered exactly what happened and lost whatever bit of drunkenness that was still in me.

Her reply? I get out of bed and notice blood on my dick…ouch. I told her I felt we had made a huge mistake and had taken things too far.

Before she even came in I asked if she was pregnant…she wanted to know who I had spoken to. Oh shit. She had missed two periods but had a negative test.

We talked for a bit…I had to actually say that I did not love her at all…I saw her kind of break in front of me. She said it was a relief because she never loved me either so now she could go.

She disappeared for over a year…I never found out if she was pregnant or not. I was talking to a fiend shortly after we had the pregnant talk.

He said that was a pretty fucked up way for someone to lose their virginity. She had sex with a guy before me.

You got her cherry. Oh my god it explained so much…I just sat there with my mouth open feeling as bad about myself as I ever had. How the fuck did I not see this?

Am I so naive as to believe whatever people tell me. No wonder she ran from the room crying, no wonder I hurt her so bad…physically and emotionally.

I just drank myself to oblivion that night…I still feel like the biggest piece of shit in the world for it. Apparently not. Over the years she will contact me on social media sites and she used to call and leave messages when she had my number.

A group of guys who view her as a little sister almost beat the shit out of me at a concert one night rightfully so and she had a drinking problem for a long time.

I know she is sober now and doing better, but I will never forgive myself for that stupid night. I have always wanted to tell her how sorry I am, but have never known what to say at all.

I feel at this point it is better to not involve myself in her life…she was very obsessive for a period of time.

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